There are no guarantees, you will just have to hope that what ever you end up doing is something you don't regret.
Here are some ideas that can assist in making choices in life. More will follow later.
Try not to be in a position that after an altercation, you can say to your friends, 'I knew that would happen, I saw it all along.'
If you can say that, then you weren't listening to your own instincts.
They are usually more right than your brain will ever be. Don't ignore them.
Leave at the right time !
Here are some ideas that can assist in making choices in life. More will follow later.
Try not to be in a position that after an altercation, you can say to your friends, 'I knew that would happen, I saw it all along.'
If you can say that, then you weren't listening to your own instincts.
They are usually more right than your brain will ever be. Don't ignore them.
Leave at the right time !
You could give yourself ten minutes of quickly browsing the following.
Ten minutes that might one day save your life. Your choice.. . . it always is.
Ten minutes that might one day save your life. Your choice.. . . it always is.
Self Defence – never a guarantee !
States of awareness.
1 – Completely unaware (White)
2 – Relaxed but alert (Yellow)
3 – Prepared for danger (Orange)
Make your plan. Sit at angles to the threat, prepare to stand. Seek escape route. Have code words. Chairs should enable you to stand easily.
4 – Crisis situation – Fight or flight (Red)
Instincts take over
Communications with an aggrieved person.
Use quiet calm tones. Avoid intimidating or threats.
Try to maintain self control
Listen to the other person, identify their problem. Empathise.
While listening make sure of an escape route and take a more defensive stance.
Try and calm their emotional state. Not their grievance.
Watch their body language. Keep your own body language non threatening.
If an attack looks imminent perhaps you should have left before this point. Use short clear commands eg STOP. STAY BACK. Use short phrases.
Return to reassuring tones after the encounter.
WARNING SIGNS.
1 – Abrupt movement or pronounced behaviour
2 – large exaggerated movements, enters your personal space.
3 – Ignoring
4 – Assumes a fighting posture, raised arms, leg back for stability.
DANGER SIGNS
1 - Opening and closing fists
2 – Target searching, breaks eye contact while assessing a target on your body.
3 – Shoulder shift
4 – Blank stare
5 – Face drains of blood, red to white, may bare teeth.
States of awareness.
1 – Completely unaware (White)
2 – Relaxed but alert (Yellow)
3 – Prepared for danger (Orange)
Make your plan. Sit at angles to the threat, prepare to stand. Seek escape route. Have code words. Chairs should enable you to stand easily.
4 – Crisis situation – Fight or flight (Red)
Instincts take over
Communications with an aggrieved person.
Use quiet calm tones. Avoid intimidating or threats.
Try to maintain self control
Listen to the other person, identify their problem. Empathise.
While listening make sure of an escape route and take a more defensive stance.
Try and calm their emotional state. Not their grievance.
Watch their body language. Keep your own body language non threatening.
If an attack looks imminent perhaps you should have left before this point. Use short clear commands eg STOP. STAY BACK. Use short phrases.
Return to reassuring tones after the encounter.
WARNING SIGNS.
1 – Abrupt movement or pronounced behaviour
2 – large exaggerated movements, enters your personal space.
3 – Ignoring
4 – Assumes a fighting posture, raised arms, leg back for stability.
DANGER SIGNS
1 - Opening and closing fists
2 – Target searching, breaks eye contact while assessing a target on your body.
3 – Shoulder shift
4 – Blank stare
5 – Face drains of blood, red to white, may bare teeth.
Body language.
During conflict situations what body language tells you is often more important than what is being said.
Observe posture and gesture to assess the threat of violence.
Fight or Flight reflex response.
Heart and respiration rate rises
Blood thickens to aid clotting
Blood vessels in large muscles dilate
Digestive process shuts down
Resistance to pain increases with endorphins released into system
Muscle tension increases
Sugar and adrenalin released into system
Body strength increases
Pupils dilate for better vision, senses sharpened
Blood drains from face – also from brain, making clear thinking less likely.
Loss of fine motor skills, eg using a phone or using a door key.
Focussed awareness.
Note that regardless of the type of emergency those who had a plan before hand survive better than those that did not. Eg Aircraft crashes . . . those with a plan number more highly in the list of survivors.
Fears about ‘What if’.
Will someone know you need help. Will anyone help me?
How will my actions be judged?
Legal implications.
Afraid of freezing and not devising a workable strategy.
What will I feel like after the incident?
Will I be able to continue my normal life afterwards?
As regards the law, you are in a lottery, one judge may commend you while another will imprison you. Your choice. Think about how you might react after the event, some might be better just taking a beating. Ideally whatever action you take you don’t want to live to regret it. There are plenty of stories where someone defends themselves against multiple attackers then goes to prison themselves for damaging the assailants too much. Then there are those who are kicked to death by mindless thugs . What you do in life is up to making your own choices and plans with whatever information, skills and beliefs that you hold.
During conflict situations what body language tells you is often more important than what is being said.
Observe posture and gesture to assess the threat of violence.
Fight or Flight reflex response.
Heart and respiration rate rises
Blood thickens to aid clotting
Blood vessels in large muscles dilate
Digestive process shuts down
Resistance to pain increases with endorphins released into system
Muscle tension increases
Sugar and adrenalin released into system
Body strength increases
Pupils dilate for better vision, senses sharpened
Blood drains from face – also from brain, making clear thinking less likely.
Loss of fine motor skills, eg using a phone or using a door key.
Focussed awareness.
- Awareness – perceive the threat – is there one?
- Assess – evaluate. What is the threat and how serious?
- Plan – formulate a strategy. What will you need to do?
- Act – can you talk? Run? Move? Fight? Or simply maintain alertness.
Note that regardless of the type of emergency those who had a plan before hand survive better than those that did not. Eg Aircraft crashes . . . those with a plan number more highly in the list of survivors.
Fears about ‘What if’.
Will someone know you need help. Will anyone help me?
How will my actions be judged?
Legal implications.
Afraid of freezing and not devising a workable strategy.
What will I feel like after the incident?
Will I be able to continue my normal life afterwards?
As regards the law, you are in a lottery, one judge may commend you while another will imprison you. Your choice. Think about how you might react after the event, some might be better just taking a beating. Ideally whatever action you take you don’t want to live to regret it. There are plenty of stories where someone defends themselves against multiple attackers then goes to prison themselves for damaging the assailants too much. Then there are those who are kicked to death by mindless thugs . What you do in life is up to making your own choices and plans with whatever information, skills and beliefs that you hold.
"You cannot be at peace while you give anything or anyone power over you. If anyone (or thing) has influence over your thoughts or feelings - to the extent that they affect you, you are not at peace."
This should include giving away control to group mania, alcohol, drugs and any addictive habits. If you do not control your mood and your own way of life, then who the hell does?
Keep your body away from places that it plainly doesn’t want to be.
Don’t let your mouth put your body where it doesn’t want to be. (Eg hurling insults to an opponent is already walking away. You don’t really want them to come back.)
Develop habits about where you sit in cafes restaurants etc. Choose a seat that gives you a good view of surroundings and has an element of protection. Chose a chair from which you can stand quickly, (avoid soft low chairs) keep your legs uncrossed, likewise your fingers when linking your own hands. If something tells you a problem is brewing then leave, regardless of how silly you might seem to others. Plenty of people have died because they hung about to see what was happening.
Don’t get paranoid about your own safety, just get sensible.
Don’t over react but be aware of distractions that are done for a purpose. “What’s the time mate?” Do not look down at your watch but lift the watch to eye level. If time is on an expensive device tell them you don’t know what the time is. “Got change for a fiver dear?” Looking in your purse is all the distraction needed.
Conscious awareness and consideration for your own safety are key factors in self defence.
If they want to rob you then they probably don’t want to risk a fight as it might leave their DNA on the other hand, if they just want to hurt you then they don’t have a mind that can foresee consequences.
The attacker must vanquish, the victim only needs to survive.
Learn some very simple defence moves, practise them and believe in using them when the moment happens. Avoid having confidence beyond your ability.
Health and safety etc has given us a generation that doesn’t think anything will happen to them. “You can’t push me, I know my rights, you’re not allowed to hurt me etc” Of course they can, if they have the power and the will to do it. There are stabbings and beatings going on today … but it’s against the rules.
Don’t carry a knife … this is fraught with dilemma and problems.. more than you might ever imagine.
Street fighters are often very capable and dangerous people, even good martial artists come unstuck. You need simple escape tools to temporarily incapacitate an attacker, bearing in mind that someone on drugs may feel no pain.
Self defence is an art you need to practise regularly and with luck and your own skill you will get through life without ever needing it.
That's it, the subject has no simple answers, mostly common sense and a bit of pre-planning.
This should include giving away control to group mania, alcohol, drugs and any addictive habits. If you do not control your mood and your own way of life, then who the hell does?
Keep your body away from places that it plainly doesn’t want to be.
Don’t let your mouth put your body where it doesn’t want to be. (Eg hurling insults to an opponent is already walking away. You don’t really want them to come back.)
Develop habits about where you sit in cafes restaurants etc. Choose a seat that gives you a good view of surroundings and has an element of protection. Chose a chair from which you can stand quickly, (avoid soft low chairs) keep your legs uncrossed, likewise your fingers when linking your own hands. If something tells you a problem is brewing then leave, regardless of how silly you might seem to others. Plenty of people have died because they hung about to see what was happening.
Don’t get paranoid about your own safety, just get sensible.
Don’t over react but be aware of distractions that are done for a purpose. “What’s the time mate?” Do not look down at your watch but lift the watch to eye level. If time is on an expensive device tell them you don’t know what the time is. “Got change for a fiver dear?” Looking in your purse is all the distraction needed.
Conscious awareness and consideration for your own safety are key factors in self defence.
If they want to rob you then they probably don’t want to risk a fight as it might leave their DNA on the other hand, if they just want to hurt you then they don’t have a mind that can foresee consequences.
The attacker must vanquish, the victim only needs to survive.
Learn some very simple defence moves, practise them and believe in using them when the moment happens. Avoid having confidence beyond your ability.
Health and safety etc has given us a generation that doesn’t think anything will happen to them. “You can’t push me, I know my rights, you’re not allowed to hurt me etc” Of course they can, if they have the power and the will to do it. There are stabbings and beatings going on today … but it’s against the rules.
Don’t carry a knife … this is fraught with dilemma and problems.. more than you might ever imagine.
Street fighters are often very capable and dangerous people, even good martial artists come unstuck. You need simple escape tools to temporarily incapacitate an attacker, bearing in mind that someone on drugs may feel no pain.
Self defence is an art you need to practise regularly and with luck and your own skill you will get through life without ever needing it.
That's it, the subject has no simple answers, mostly common sense and a bit of pre-planning.
One in four people in London will experience an attack or burglary.
An attack will last 30 seconds, that’s all it takes.
Attackers are normally aged 16 to 28 and unemployed. What they want will vary.
If confronted, say little and walk away if it looks like they are backing down.
Avoid humour.
Drunks are easily spotted, criminals are not.
Avoid dark and quiet places.
Equip and plan for emergencies. (The SAS do!)
Aggression and strength normally win but you can deter with awareness, surprise and confidence.
Almost all attacks are telegraphed, widening eyes, glance sideways, up on toes. For kicks their shoulders will move first. Kicks are infrequent as mainly the first strike is a right handed hook to the head. Movement in head and shoulders is a cue, so control your own.
As a potential attacker approaches you could hold your hands out in front of you like a fence, the higher they are the more definite. If they come through this barrier they will attack. They are looking for any sign of aggression as a trigger.
Determination is a key quality.
Surprise also a key quality.
Maintain calm with slow deep breathing.
Fitness will help you survive a beating and help overcome biochemical stress.
Fear is the natural trigger that warns you something is wrong. Analyse the threat and choose the best alternative.
If a fight looks imminent then strike first and hard; Without body balance there is no strength; Take their balance in a diagonal fashion.
Stamping on their foot will bring their head forward. Use of knees compromises your own balance.
Social niceties and professional integrity interfere with judgement.
If there is an attack, do not deny it. It is real. Deal with it !
If they are questioning you then they are occupying your mind while they move in. If they shock you they bring out your adrenalin and all the problems of the delay in flight or fight.
You need to train for the event.
If they ask, “What are you looking at?” give NO answer. Don’t stop, keep going.
EYES.. When they think, they look away.Not an exact science but eyes looking to their right can be part of the process of making up an answer. Not likely to be honest. Looking in someone’s eyes can be fraught with problems unless you really know what you are doing. It is something that you will need to continue to monitor as you develop your skills.
ROUTINE. While you follow your usual routine, eg leaving the pub, getting off a bus etc you are not as aware.Try not to stand out, become part of a crowd. Be alert, good posture, listen.
An attack will last 30 seconds, that’s all it takes.
Attackers are normally aged 16 to 28 and unemployed. What they want will vary.
If confronted, say little and walk away if it looks like they are backing down.
Avoid humour.
Drunks are easily spotted, criminals are not.
Avoid dark and quiet places.
Equip and plan for emergencies. (The SAS do!)
Aggression and strength normally win but you can deter with awareness, surprise and confidence.
Almost all attacks are telegraphed, widening eyes, glance sideways, up on toes. For kicks their shoulders will move first. Kicks are infrequent as mainly the first strike is a right handed hook to the head. Movement in head and shoulders is a cue, so control your own.
As a potential attacker approaches you could hold your hands out in front of you like a fence, the higher they are the more definite. If they come through this barrier they will attack. They are looking for any sign of aggression as a trigger.
Determination is a key quality.
Surprise also a key quality.
Maintain calm with slow deep breathing.
Fitness will help you survive a beating and help overcome biochemical stress.
Fear is the natural trigger that warns you something is wrong. Analyse the threat and choose the best alternative.
If a fight looks imminent then strike first and hard; Without body balance there is no strength; Take their balance in a diagonal fashion.
Stamping on their foot will bring their head forward. Use of knees compromises your own balance.
Social niceties and professional integrity interfere with judgement.
If there is an attack, do not deny it. It is real. Deal with it !
If they are questioning you then they are occupying your mind while they move in. If they shock you they bring out your adrenalin and all the problems of the delay in flight or fight.
You need to train for the event.
If they ask, “What are you looking at?” give NO answer. Don’t stop, keep going.
EYES.. When they think, they look away.Not an exact science but eyes looking to their right can be part of the process of making up an answer. Not likely to be honest. Looking in someone’s eyes can be fraught with problems unless you really know what you are doing. It is something that you will need to continue to monitor as you develop your skills.
ROUTINE. While you follow your usual routine, eg leaving the pub, getting off a bus etc you are not as aware.Try not to stand out, become part of a crowd. Be alert, good posture, listen.